I’m drifting away from fitness and nutrition here, as I mostly do it seems. I write about what I am thinking about, what issues i’ve been facing, and writing helps me solve them. Writing is taking the time to think about a problem, slowly. And taking the time on something helps me look at it from different perspectives. As I write these lines i’m not even sure where I am going with this. I don’t write because i have answers. I write because I have questions I want to answer.
I don’t even know what this blog really is. I started it thinking it was just going to be about my tips and tricks to get healthy, but even just writing that silly sentence down has made me realise that for me this is much bigger.
I’m scared when I sit down in front of my computer and I’m faced with the lonely idea of pouring out what I believe onto a blank page and hope it goes and touches people like it touches me.
Every article I write I know is better than the previous one. It gets closer to who I am, to what i know, to how my mind works. And as I resolve my issues, as I get closer to the root of my beliefs, new branches of myself grow and reach new ideas I never thought would come out of me.
What I see as days, months, years go by is that the more honest and truthful I am, the better my life gets. Especially when the truth is something I am afraid to say. Especially when the truth is something embarrassing. Especially if the truth is something that makes me look like I am faulty and human. And I have been wondering why.
The more I tell the truth, the less I feel like a fraud. The less I feel like a fraud, the freer I am to do what I feel is right. And instead of hiding behind big words, theories, and made up stories, I do what works. As I do what works, I make progress, and as I make progress my life gets better.
If you lie, even a little, and get away with it, you’ll create a seperate reality for yourself where you believe in a seperate truth. Your reality will split in half where a world exists where you told the truth, and a separate reality lurks where people might find out. And that reality does not go away. That is where your inner demons are, and whisper in your ear at night, or when you are alone, and thinking about your life. Your delusions won’t hold against the harsh smack of reality you’re about to face.
The weight you carry doesn’t make you stronger. It grows with time and eats out your legs beneath you. It is what makes mornings hard, the leak of energy that drains you. Its anxiety attacks in the making. The cancer that you will feel you deserved.
If you lie to others, even a little, you’ll be lying to yourself just as much. And you KNOW you’re lying. And as you think you’re moving forward, you’re in fact just running in the mud you created by leaking the waters of deception onto the soil of your future self.
Lies are useful yes. They’re a great way to get away from anything that might disrupt your life right now. It is a great tool to having the cake and eating it too.
How do you feel about liars? Do you believe what they say once you know they are liars? Do you want to talk to them once you know they are liars? So what happens when you know you are a liar? Do you trust yourself anymore? When you tell yourself you are going to do something, why would you believe it? Every lie you say is another layer that reinforces the idea you aren’t to be trusted in anything.
Break that cycle.
If all you do is say the truth, then you know that if you say you’ll do something you’ll do it. If you think you can do something you’ll do it. if you imagine something you know it can become true. It becomes a magical power that helps you create the world you want to live in. If you can trust yourself, if you can trust your word, then nothing in this world is impossible anymore.
This isn’t religious prose, it is about being able to trust that the person you think you are, and the person you are, are the one and only person living inside of you. And when that alignment happens, so will your life.
Tell the truth, because your lies will chain you down.
Take it easy,
Morgan.